Christmas Our Way...You Can Hit the Highway

Family Christmases have always been a fond memory for both myself and my husband, but very very different. As a child I remember small Christmases with just my brother and parents, occasionally my grandma would be there, but they were all quiet. There would be a random Christmas every 5-8 years that involved cousins, aunts, uncles, and various friends, and always ended in drama, an ER visit, or someone leaving because they were mad (these were my less fond Christmas memories). As a child my husband talks of the loud, chaotic Christmases that involved all family members and often multiple gatherings with each side of his family (pretty much my Christmas nightmare). These differences in our Christmas joys led to some discrepancies in our Christmas planning when we embarked on our lives together. 

Our first 2 Christmas’s were spent in Alaska, because traveling was too expensive and we couldn’t afford to go home.  We had a good mix of both quiet and chaotic. We spent enough time just the 2 of us mixed with work holiday parties and medium sized gatherings with family and friends. We both felt satisfied with the holidays and how they were spent. 

This all changed when we moved back to the lower 48 and had kids. We went through a phase of trying to make grandparents happy and embarked on a 4 year rotation of holidays between each other’s families. Year 1 involved Christmas in Bozeman with a newborn and extended family. Year 2 was Christmas in St. Louis with my husband’s family. Year 3 was back in Bozeman just the 3 of us (my dream). And then year 4 was in Bismarck with my family. And the cycle would continue, or so was the plan. 2019 put an end to that when we spent our Christmas in St. Louis. The trip and family time was great, but the amount of work that went into planning, packing, traveling, and coordinating with “Santa” left me tired, anxious, and dreading Christmas for years to come. When we returned home my husband and I, tired and worn out, agreed that traveling over the holidays with young kids was not our jam. We made the decision then and there that moving forward all Christmas would be spent in Bozeman at our house. Extended family of course could join us, but traveling was not going to be a part of our Christmas plans. This went over well when we told our kids. Over the years we always heard that our family Christmases at home, just the 4 of us, were their favorite. When telling the grandparents, however, things didn’t go quite as well. There were ifs, ands, and buts, and all the guilt trips you could imagine, but we held our ground and I could feel the stress leaving my body as thoughts of future Christmases at home floated through my mind.

Now, with 2 consecutive at home Christmases under our belt and the 3rd soon to be here, I am happy. There is still stress as the holiday season approaches, but it is manageable and the pit in my stomach isn’t there. And all 4 of us look forward to the fast approaching holiday season and making our very own family memories our way, whether quiet or chaotic.